


I think I do (but I don't forget)

by Mildly_Maddy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, M/M, Texting, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 03:36:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13181529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mildly_Maddy/pseuds/Mildly_Maddy
Summary: LP, really?Really???Liam stares at the messages for a minute or two. The last time Louis wrote to him dates back to three months ago, a “might come to london soon” that Liam never replied to and Louis never followed up on.I was bored, he finally sends back, not knowing what else to write. He’d like to be witty, but all his wit evaporated a long time ago when it comes to Louis. Part of him still wants to make him laugh, get his approval, but the bigger part wants to keep on pretending that he doesn’t need a Louis Tomlinson in his life.--Louis texts Liam. It shouldn't be anything to write home about, but a lot of things have changed since the break.





	I think I do (but I don't forget)

_LP, really?_   
_Really???_

Liam stares at the messages for a minute or two. The last time Louis wrote to him dates back to three months ago, a “ _might come to london soon_ ” that Liam never replied to and Louis never followed up on.

 _I was bored_ , he finally sends back, not knowing what else to write. He’d like to be witty, but all his wit evaporated a long time ago when it comes to Louis. Part of him still wants to make him laugh, get his approval, but the bigger part wants to keep on pretending that he doesn’t need a Louis Tomlinson in his life.

_What, afraid your gonna forget your own name?_

_Ive literally already made that joke lou._

_Sorry I don’t watch every single snap you post._

Liam didn’t say it in a snap, but still, the temptation’s too hard to resist. _So you watch some of them?_

_Shut up._

There’s nothing for five minutes and Liam thinks that crazy episode is over, when Louis sends another message, like a desperate attempt at catching Liam’s attention.

 _You need to stop biting your nails_.

Liam hesitates, then writes, _Look who’s talking_ , because it’s so much easier than asking “Why the fuck are you even writing to me? I thought you’d forgotten I existed.”

 _I’ve stopped, I’ll have you know_ , Louis sends back, and Liam can hear the primness in his voice just from reading the words.

He's also pretty sure the latest photoshoot pictures he’s seen of Louis prove otherwise, but he doesn’t want to admit he’s been looking at them, so he says nothing. 

He still doesn’t know what to think about those photos. He’s pretty sure he should feel nothing at all, but the way his heart rate picked up when he looked at them was definitely not a coincidence.

He doesn’t send another message, and after a couple minutes, Louis logs off.

It’s probably better that way.

\-- 

_You look like youv gottten younger how the fuck di d you get youngr?_

The text comes a little before noon a few weeks later, right as Liam exits yet another radio show. 

_Gonna take that as a compliment i guess?_ he sends back, slipping his phone into his back pocket and stepping outside. Ten minutes later, safe in the back of a rented car, he's greeted with 4 new messages. 

_Fcourse its a complimnet._   
_You still look hot why dyou still lok hot_   
_Youre a dad_   
_Stop ignring me._

_I'm not ignoring you i was signing autographs.  
What time is it in LA?_

_Howdy ou know im in la?_

_Coz it's the middle of the morning here and you're raging drunk._

_Im not deunk._   
_Drunk._   
_Youre drukn._

Liam sighs. He’s not been home in weeks, he misses his baby son, and he really doesn’t want to have to deal with a drunk Louis right now.

 _Why did you write, Louis?_

_Oh im louis now._   
_Well liam payne iw as missing you and thiught I'd write._   
_Crazy uh?_

Liam frowns as he reads the words, then realizes he’s frowning, and frowns even more. When did his life change so much that the knowledge that Louis misses him makes him feel anger instead of joy?

 _Didn't think you missed me. Nice to know_ , he sends back, impulsively. He’s tired of always guarding himself against Louis, tired of keeping one of his best friends at bay to protect himself. Anyway, it’s not like Louis will remember any of this later, if his spelling is anything to go by. 

_Of course i miss you_   
_Dyou think ifucking forgot about you just coz we don't work togehtr anymore?_

_I don't know,_ Liam types, frowning again. _Dont see you calling me, do I?_

_Have you forgot about me?_ Louis sends back, ignoring Liam, as usual. 

It’s a stupid question, but still Liam hesitates, even though he doesn't think there's been a week gone by without him picking up his phone, staring at Louis’s contact picture. But it’s been so much easier not to call.

Even now, it would be easier to let the conversation die rather than go down whatever crooked path Louis is opening before him.

It would be safer, too. 

_I see_ , Louis sends two minutes later, before Liam can figure out what to answer.   
_Ill leave you now._

_Don't._

Liam's thumbs have sprung to action without him approving the motion, and he stares at his phone, feeling vaguely sea sick. He can't remember where he's going next. He hopes the drive is long.

Louis doesn't send anything for a while. Then, just like the last time, right when Liam thinks that the conversation is over, a new message pops up. 

_I don't know were we fucked up_. _Where did we fcked up payno?_

Liam knows exactly where. They went to the Brits, and Liam was so nervous about telling Louis about Cheryl that he drank too much, and he made a fool of himself, and after that Louis basically slunk out of his life.

And because Louis’s drunk, and Liam is tired, he actually types it out. _I embarrassed you at the brits_. 

Louis’s replies come like rapid fire.

 _Lmao you think I was embarrassed???_   
_Omg_   
_That is amazingg._   
_I wanted to kiss you you prick._   
_I wanted to kiss you so fucking bad and then you went and sadi you were in love and dyou know at first for a second it hought you meant me and im so fuckibg glad i didn't say t outloud._

"We're there," the driver says through the car's intercom, and Liam doesn't even ask where. 

"Keep on driving." 

The car starts back, no questions asked. The benefit of paying your employees well. 

Liam reads the words over and over again, waiting for them to make sense, but his brain is fuzzy with static. There’s bile at the back of his throat and a familiar prickling at the corner of his eyes, and he doesn’t understand any of it, neither the fear nor the sadness.

He can’t do anything but wait. 

_Im drunk_ , Louis writes after a while. 

The words look inescapably lonely, and Liam thinks of him, sitting on his patio in L.A., looking at that stunning view and wondering whether or not he'll regret throwing up in his pool come morning.

There was a time when Liam was sure it'd be the two of them sitting there at the end of the night, waiting for the sunrise. 

_Liam,,still there?_

_Yeah._

He doesn't know what else to type, thumbs hovering over his phone. The car stops and starts, carried away by the midday traffic. Liam is probably late for an important meeting. He can't bring himself to care.

 _I love el_ , Louis suddenly types, and it feels he's reminding himself of it just as much as he's reminding Liam.

 _I know you do_ , Liam sends, before adding, _And I love Cheryl._

 _I kno._   
_Stilll wannakiss your stupid face._   
_Wanna suck youre stupid dick._

Liam’s smile, which had tentatively stretched his lips at the mention of kissing, freezes into a grimace. Still, something hot curls low in his belly at the unexpected thought of Louis daydreaming about his dick.

He types out the words “I'm straight” then deletes them. “I'm with Cheryl” meets the same fate. “You can’t do that to me” stays on the screen longer, the cursor blinking expectantly after the last -e, but finally gets deleted like the others.

 _Say sth_ , Louis sends, startling Liam out of his stasis.

 _I don't know what to say_ , Liam types, and that at least is the truth.

_Ok pretend i didnt say anythign_

_I can’t do that._

_Then fuckkng say sometjing!!!_

“Why didn't _you_ fucking say something earlier, you asshole?!” Liam cries out, punching the door of the car in frustration.

Immediately the car’s intercom sparks to life. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Just… keep driving please.”

 _What the fuck do you want me to say?_ he finally types out, angry at the way his dick is half hard, at the way Louis can stroll into his life after two years and send everything flying tits over arse because he only cares about himself.

 _I wanr you tto say you wnat me to suck your dick, obviusly_   
_Apart from that i dont know._   
_I never agtually intended to tell you any of this._   
_Im over it now._

“Right, so over it that you're bringing it up two years later, that kind of ‘over it’,” Liam mumbles. He has no idea what to write, how to react. Louis clearly knows his confession makes no sense, that it can’t lead to anything, even if Liam wanted it to (whether or not he’d have wanted it to is something Liam doesn’t intend to think about at all).

 _What’s the point of any of this?_ he finally writes, at a loss.

He’s expecting some flippant answer, or another rant, but Louis only sends back one word.

_Regret._

He logs off a second later, leaving Liam alone with his punctured heart and fucked up thoughts, and it’s such a Louis thing to do that it almost feels comforting.

 _Call me when you’re sober_ , Liam sends into the void, before turning his own phone off. He leans forward and knocks on the partition, prompting an immediate “Yes, sir?” from the front seat.

“I’m, uh, not sure where I was supposed to go next, but we can go now,” Liam says, before sinking back into the posh leather seats, his phone dark and silent in his lap.

There’s nothing to do but wait.


End file.
